During this Covid break, lots of stray thoughts are coming to my mind, egging me to put the same on paper. The thought that has suddenly erupted inside me today is the strangeness or oddity of a son or daughter not speaking to his/her father or mother sometimes during the whole lifetime! Unbelievable, isn’t it? While some reasons are comprehensible – a son or daughter marrying outside the community or religion without parental consent leading to lifelong termination of this most sensitive relationship, a few others are beyond comprehension!

Such an instance first came to my notice when I was quite young, in fact in my pre- teens. That was when my aunt got married. I heard that my to- be uncle was a self – made man, an orphan, who was brought up by neighbours, though later it transpired that his mother had died when he was very young and his father remarried. This is also understandable for seldom love is not lost between step mother and step son, the role of the man – the father and husband- becoming dubious! The next instance came to my mind when another of my close relatives married a fine person, whose father didn’t accompany the baraat or wedding procession. We were told that father and son were not on talking terms for a few years, but expected them to Kiss and make up, though that never happened and the person couldn’t even make it to his father’s funeral!

Currently, two people very close to me are not talking to each other and it beats me that when the life has become so uncertain, especially in the backdrop of Corona and the need is for people and communities to come together and fight this enemy , we have these instances of close souls, related by birth and blood, bringing in their egos and preconceived notions and spoiling what’s god’s gift to mankind- parental love and filial affection! Only yesterday I had prayed for departure of Corona for we had learnt our lessons. But it seems , we could still be a little distance away from it!

Seasonal flu was an event

That happened without fail every year

When season changed its mood

It was that part of the year!

This year too was no different

For I had fever with chill and ache

Mentally I was prepared

For 2 days of rest and break.

Little I realised

This was not a normal year

A pandemic was unleashed on mankind

That was increasingly becoming hard to bear!

And I tested positive for Covid

There was absolutely no consolation

I was moved to a separate room

For a fortnight of isolation !

Doctor was circumspect

For it was no known devil

This was a mysterious disease

That was mother of all evils!

As I count my days of isolation

I thank my stars and prayers by all for my condition

I seem to have recovered well

God seems to have heard my petition

I pray for safety of fellow humans

And wish Covid an early demise

We have all learnt our lessons

And have become enough wise !

Not only in my childhood but also larger part of youth, Hindi movies were the only source of entertainment. Going to theatre was a big event and it required good deal of planning, because for any good movie released fresh, tickets were seldom available across the counter and seats had to be reversed in advance, once the booking opened on Monday of the week during which the new movie was to be released on Friday.

I was just thinking about the grandiose movies, watching which was almost aspirational! Lot of names come to mind and as my prime movie going time coincided with Amitabh’s reign of stardom, these were mainly his movies – Trishul, Namak Halal, Sharabi, Amar Akbar Anthony, Shakti and an odd non Amitabh movie such as Karz, Chacha Bhatija or Hum Kisi Se Kam Nahin. In fact, Sharabi and Shakti were two movies that I watched the second time, a rarity of my lifetime. But the biggest event as I recollect was watching Sholay for my father stood in queue for 2 hours to get tickets for two weeks after, when the movie had already run for almost 6 months! By that time, everyone knew each and every dialogue of this all time classic!

And then suddenly the standard and the content of Hindi movies deteriorated and so did the musical score and with so much alternate content available on cable TV, channels and now of course internet, the attraction of Bollywood faded. Of course, earlier elegant and well laid out theatres ( Plaza, Odeon, Chanakya, Sangam, Priya in Delhi and Sterling, Eros, Regal, Minerva, Metro in Mumbai) also shut down their doors replaced by very neat and clean with great acoustics but clinical Multiplexes!

Does it mean, I have no interest in any Bollywood movie? No, exception is always there. There’s one film maker for whose movies I wait eagerly, for his movies are based on rock solid scripts on which he spends lots of time along with his co-writer! He’s Rajkumar Hirani, the maker of two Munnabhai franchises and classics such as 3 Idiots, Peekay and Sanju! I look forward to his next though I don’t know whether his dream project , “ Munnabhai Chale America “ or for that any other Munnabhai franchise movie will see the light of the day for Sanjay Dutt is growing in years, though he seems to have conquered cancer.

More Hiranis can bring reluctant ( I won’t use the word discerning for that may sound needlessly egoistic) cinema goers like me back to the theatres, even if it means going to a multiplex and eating popcorn for Rs250 !

Self quarantine is providing me with an opportunity to watch TV and read. Though I must say that I was tempted to do both the aforesaid things when I was busy with my office work. Now that I have been advised to stay away from office work and have ample time for watching TV and reading, my mind is going towards office! Such wicked are ways of life and one cannot really help but go along.

As the title of this blog suggests, we have conditioned our lives in such a way that everything, including happiness, has become conditional. It’s always if preceding then, meaning fulfilment of condition precedent is essential for the aimed happiness. And this if-then syndrome is not only the guiding light for our future actions and outcomes, it also takes us into the pangs of guilt and regret over our past. If I had taken admission to X college, if I had got promotion in 1996 instead of 1997, if my daughter had settled in USA instead of RSA: it’s quite an endless list. And for future, if I get steady income after my retirement, if I keep good health, if I get to pursue decent second innings, if I have absolutely rocking old age: again the list is endless.

While the past is done and the present is just moving ahead, I will make definitive moves to save my future from this if- then syndrome. I want unconditional life, unconditional happiness and perpetual joy that’s not incumbent upon any conditionality. It will entail some serious work, but I am also serious post Corona – life is to be lived regally and unconditionally by staying in present.

If I am still resting my future happiness on the preconditions or specific events, then I will never be able to come out of this vicious circle!

I took extreme care and caution. Stopped going out once the pandemic started. Mainly worked from home. In the extreme circumstances of having to go out, wore mask and maintained social distancing. Avoided crowded places. Drank hot concoctions ( kadah). Drank milk with turmeric. Took vitamins and zinc as supplements. Read somewhere about kalonji and ate black seeds everyday morning. Nursed a Corona patient with utmost care. And just when the world was celebrating abatement of pandemic and successful trial of vaccine, I got infected and tested positive for Corona.

I am no god; in fact , I consider myself to be more ordinary than the ordinary mortals. But the need is to get tested and then follow all the protocols. Many with good immunity might just have unknowingly defeated Corona, but they could be passive carriers. I suggest that anyone having fever or any discomfort of any kind should get herself or himself tested and only then can we defeat Corona and stop it’s transmission.

Is this blog being penned under Covid strain and hence has a pessimistic undertone? On the contrary, I am more resolute now to spread awareness through my articles. Do whatever is required and being suggested by the authorities and doctors. Build immunity and stay safe. But if there are any symptoms, get tested and follow the process. Testing is the key to defeating Corona.

You have physically downed me covid

But my spirits are still high

We have decided to fight together now

Your end is nigh!!!

Long weekend and home quarantine took me to DD Sports channel that is known for broadcasting internal games and events. So between yesterday and today, I discovered some new names – tennis players Arjun Kadhe and Vijay Sundar Prashanth, Table Tennis players Harmeet Desai and Sathiyan etc. I learnt that Beighton cup has been won 7 times by Indian Oil Corporation, while the last year finalist PNB won once in 2015. I was surprised to know that so many rules have changed since I last followed these games. In Table Tennis, a set consists of 11 points, with each player having two services at a time, a big change from 21 points set and 5 services to each player that I knew of. Also, I haven’t seen anything beyond the best of 5 sets, this being the first time that I saw best of 7 final game between Harmeet and Sathiyan. And look at hockey – there’s no bully, no pushes, but only hit ins, long corner is not taken from the corner but from 25 yards line. And instead of 2 halves of 30 minutes each, there are 4 quarters of 15 minutes each. And finally, Indian tennis players have come of age- their services are as strong as international players and the difference seems to have been substantially bridged. Above all, with no sporting events having been hosted in the current pandemic affected year, with the exception of IPL that was recently held in UAE, most of the telecasts are of the games played last year and earlier!

There was a time when I knew by heart the dates of major tournaments – DCM and Durand Cup football, Ranji and Duleep trophy cricket matches, Beighton Cup Hockey and so many tennis, badminton and table tennis tournaments. I would know the position of the teams and players, names of champions as also the records of the teams and players. So much has changed in world of internal sporting scene – new players, new champions, new tournaments and most importantly- new rules ! We just got lost in cricket and more cricket in the form of IPL, forgetting everything else! And probably more so of late in the new forms of entertainment such as satellite channels and Netflix, Amazon Prime et al.

Without sounding preachy, I will now do my best to try and remain in touch with internal sporting events, players, their records and achievements and their proximity to international standards , with the same zeal with which I follow cricket, grand slam tennis tournaments and international soccer. How much more learning is there to be imbibed from Covid Pandemic, I sometimes wonder?

Two things are coming to my mind as I prepare for Diwali pujan. First is the reaction by an old friend of mine to my yesterday Diwali blog, where she has beautifully expressed transition from cleaning house and bursting crackers to realising the real significance of Diwali, which is to clear the internal clutter by reducing negativity within ourselves that will lead to – less anger, less jealousy, less inequality, less division! In times, when we all run for more – wealth, happiness, luxuries, respect, status, the connotation of “ the less is not always bad”, has left me thinking. In this short journey of blog writing, what I have got from my friends and readers outweighs what I might have given, by several hundred times!

Second is the last part of the book that I just finished, where the protagonist exhorts people to adopt a different attitude that’s based on love, compassion and piety. As he says, “ why you always hear – fight a bad habit, fight a vice, fight an enemy, fight your weakness ? Why can’t all these be overcome by pure love?” Actually, the book is about Sufism and Dervishes and their philosophy of pure love and guidance by the heart rather than by mind.

I have been fighting this Covid menace through what I know the best – In my own humble way through my writings and communications. Now that on this Diwali day, I have been tested Covid positive, should I interpret having lost the fight to Covid? (Thought 2) Or should I lament about not having maintained sufficient cleanliness ? ( thought 1). I am thankful to god for letting me celebrate this Diwali with pure love and by taking another step towards decluttering my internal self! I am confident that Corona is now breathing it’s last and with mutual love, understanding, harmony and oneness, we shall make it happen!

Historical significance of Diwali is return of Lord Rama to Ayodhya after 14 years in exile during which he faced several challenges, but finally people welcomed their favourite Rama by lighting lamps. Symbolically, Diwali represents removal of all obstacles, evils, darkness and problems surrounding us to be stepping into a brightly lit future.

Corona pandemic is one of the biggest challenges that mankind has faced in long long time – probably the first for our generation of post world war 2. In India, virus seems to be weakening and success of vaccine by Pfizer has lifted the spirits.

Let Diwali herald bright and prosperous future for not only our country but the entire world. Let all of us revert to simple joys of life that we took for granted.

We shopped

Till we dropped dead

And burning crackers

Would start a full month ahead

Who cared for diabetes or obesity

There was hardly any weight to be shed

Things have since changed like everything else

But there’s no reason to dread

Won’t burn crackers, eat sweets but wear mask

But spirit of Diwali will be upheld.

A happy, bright, healthy and prosperous Diwali to all if you and your family members!

We have been brought up on fables or more importantly moral stories that were told to us to build our character. We have heard the story of the fox, who was not able to reach grapes hanging up out of her reach and so she solaced herself by presuming the grapes to be sour. We also heard the story of hare and tortoise, where a conceited and smug hare is beaten in the race by a persistent tortoise and we learnt a lesson forever that “ Slow and steady wins the race.” Thanks to the evolution of social media, the imagination of people knows no bounds and we end up by hearing the other side of the story – the Hare’s version. Here is it as told by the Hare to the so called author of this counter fable!

We started the race and in seconds I was miles ahead of the tortoise, who was just crawling. I decided to rest under the shade of a tree. With the cool breeze blowing, I couldn’t resist the temptation of a nap. In my dreams, I met an old man with a flowing beard, sitting on a rock in a meditative pose. He opened his eyes, gave me an all-knowing smile and asked:

“Who are you?”

“I am a hare. I am running a race.”

“Why?”

“To prove to all the creatures in the jungle that I am the fastest.”

“Why do you want to prove that you are the fastest?”

“So that I get a medal which will give me status which will give me money which will get me food…”

“There is already so much food around.” He pointed to the forest in the distance. “Look at all those trees laden with fruits and nuts, all those leafy branches”

“I also want respect. I want to be remembered as the fastest hare who ever lived.”

“Do you know the name of the fastest deer or the largest elephant or the strongest lion who lived a thousand years before you?”

“No.”

“Today you have been challenged by a tortoise.

Tomorrow, it will be a snake.

Then it will be a zebra.

Will you keep racing all your life to prove that you are the fastest?”

“Hmm. I didn’t think about it.

I don’t want to race all my life.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to sleep under a banyan tree on a makeshift pillow while the leaves rustle and the bees buzz.

I want to hop over the meadows near the hills and swim in the pond.”

“You can do all these things this very moment.

Forget the race.

You are here today but you will be gone tomorrow.”

I woke up from my sleep.

The ducks in the pond looked happy.

I jumped into the pond, startling them for a moment.

They looked at me quizzically.

“Weren’t you supposed to be racing with the tortoise today?”

“It’s pointless.

An exercise in futility.

All I want is to be here.

Hopefully, someday, someone will tell the world my story – That I lost the race but got back my life

I found the Hare’s version to be as inspiring as the Tortoise’s version that was always taught to us. In fact, in today’s milieu when everyone is in a mad rush to achieve more – success, money, happiness, materials- Hare’s version to my mind seems to be more relevant, a learning re-emphasised by the ongoing Covid pandemic that has forced us to rethink the way we have so far lived our lives.

I also read somewhere – “ Even if you win a rat race, you are still a rat “ – which in a way is another endorsement Hare’s version. While let us continue with teaching Tortoise’s version in primary schools so that children understand the virtues of being slow and steady rather than being over confident and smug, those past their childhood should also read Hare’s version.