NDE or near death experience is a much followed subject for there is something eerie and chilling about death and NDE is just a step before it. While it’s not uncommon for patients battling with terminal illness to go through an occasional NDE ( in fact the experiences of those who were brain dead for some moments and then revived have been documented extensively), it could be several times more chilling if in frame of mind of happiness and holiday, you come across one.

The background of the above is today’s encounter with death that we had. On a holiday and in a very happy relaxed frame of mind, looking forward to a great day ahead after sumptuous breakfast, we boarded the lift from our floor, to be stuck midway. The lift stopped with a jerk and it was pitch dark inside with only me and my wife. We thought it would be a momentary power failure with lift to be switched over to backup power supply, but seconds ticked by , while we grappled with emergency bell and tried calling for help using the speaker provided in the lift. But no help seemed to be forthcoming. I tried opening the doors of the lift forcibly, but to no avail. I had started experiencing asphyxiation and my wife, who is usually cooler under such circumstances also seemed to be in distress and agony. We were shouting from inside and slamming on the doors seeking help.

As seconds ticked by, I was out of my wits staring at the tragic eventuality. However, it was not to be as the power could be restored and we landed on the desired floor after an excruciating period of may be 2-3 minutes.

Are we wiser by the experience? There can’t be any great wisdom to be gained out of such an experience as we can’t stop using lifts! Only learning is about the fragility and uncertainty of life and the need to live it fully and well.

Peculiarities of English language never cease to amaze me. Whether it’s about grammatical rules or the use of unusual and difficult words that’s now given a new sobriquet of “Tharoorian” after our very own Shashi Tharoor.

I always wonder as to how the same word can be used in absolutely contrarian contexts. For example – the word oversight. It’s one use is – “ Army’s strict oversight of LOC has ensured that terrorists do not infiltrate into our country from across the line.” Its absolutely contrarian use will be – “ The terrorists could sneak into our country due to oversight by patrolling guards.” Oversight means strict vigil as also slackness of vigil.

Another interesting word that readily comes to mind is cleave. It means both – to cling or adhere as also to sever. For example – “ Though they have an interfaith marriage yet each of them cleaves to his/her own rituals and festivals.” On the contrary cleave can also be used in the sense – “ The party is cleaved by internal differences”.

And I am sure my readers would have come across several such words in their day to day usage. Some of these are quite common such as sanction ( approval and embargo), dust ( as in dirt and removal of dirt) , consult ( offer or obtain advice) etc. However, what at least I didn’t know was that such words were called contronyms as these words are their own antonyms.

What readily comes to mind in our Hindi is the use of the word aage or in front. I have seen this word being used by people in both the contexts as in – “ Aage to aisa nahin hota tha ( such things never happened in earlier days)” and “ Aage aage dekhte hain hota hai kya ( let’s see what future has in store)”. Isn’t aage an absolute contronym?

I welcome more such feedback.

Peculiarities of English language never cease to amaze me. Whether it’s about grammatical rules or the use of unusual and difficult words that’s now given a new sobriquet of “Tharoorian” after our very own Shashi Tharoor.

I always wonder as to how the same word can be used in absolutely contrarian contexts. For example – the word oversight. It’s one use is – “ Army’s strict oversight of LOC has ensured that terrorists do not infiltrate into our country from across the line.” Its absolutely contrarian use will be – “ The terrorists could sneak into our country due to oversight by patrolling guards.” Oversight means strict vigil as also slackness of vigil.

Another interesting word that readily comes to mind is cleave. It means both – to cling or adhere as also to sever. For example – “ Though they have an interfaith marriage yet each of them cleaves to his/her own rituals and festivals.” On the contrary cleave can also be used in the sense – “ The party is cleaved by internal differences”.

And I am sure my readers would have come across several such words in their day to day usage. Some of these are quite common such as sanction ( approval and embargo), dust ( as in dirt and removal of dirt) , consult ( offer or obtain advice) etc. However, what at least I didn’t know was that such words were called contronyms as these words are their own antonyms.

What readily comes to mind in our Hindi is the use of the word aage or in front. I have seen this word being used by people in both the contexts as in – “ Aage to aisa nahin hota tha ( such things never happened in earlier days)” and “ Aage aage dekhte hain hota hai kya ( let’s see what future has in store)”. Isn’t aage an absolute contronym?

I welcome more such feedback.

As I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, I probably was born a few decades too early to have looked forward to the relevance of Valentine’s Day. I had neither heard of it nor it was a vogue to flaunt one’s love interest or romantic interludes so to say. Even dating was subdued and was not called dating but “seeing “, though it’s besides the point that I neither dated nor saw anyone. So the romance part of my life very much started post my marriage.

However, that doesn’t take the significance of Valentine’s Day away from it. For today’s youth as also those in love with their partners, it has come to be celebrated as a major festival. The tradition of showering gifts and spending a quite moment with your loved ones makes this day to be extra special. While it can be argued that why only one day in a year be dedicated to your beloved, the fact is that in spite of our hearts overflowing with love for our beloved, we are so much caught up in our routine that we miss to express our feelings. Valentine’s Day reminds us that loving in itself is not enough, one needs to express the same to one’s lover.

There are moralists and self styled conscious keepers who are against celebrating Valentine’s Day, it being against our culture. To my mind, anything that celebrates love, the most beautiful emotion of all, cannot be against any culture. And more so for our society that’s increasingly displaying the symptoms of polarisation on religious, linguistic and ethnic lines, such festivals that propagate love have immense relevance.

There’s nothing called moral turpitude about the pure feeling of love and people should be allowed to celebrate in whichever manner they want to.

I love you deeply but don’t say it ofter

But let me express my feelings this day

For pure love doesn’t need wine, flowers or gifts

But just a reminder of love on Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

My journey with P G Wodehouse continues abd I make it a point to read at least 2-3 pages of his compendium of work that I have downloaded on my kindle. In fact, my kindle tells me that currently I have just finished 12% of the total contents and it’s going to be a slow but long roller coaster ride with the Master.

What makes his work exuding old world charm is not the mere fact that most of it was written in the early part of last century in colonial Britain, but that he uses words that are no longer in use- quaint English words. Dictionary itself says for many such words as being used colloquially in Britain or quaint English no longer in use! Moreover, most of his stories cannot be thought of and concocted in today’s scenario when the technology , especially the mobile and internet, rules the roost. Although his main character Bertie’s extended family stays in suburbs or upcountry places drivable within a couple of hours from London today ( in those days when there were no metros, speed trains or expressways, it would take much longer), the only mode of communication in those times was telegram ( I think even personal landlines were rare in those days) and therefore, the surprise element of an event having occurred or not that was possible then would be totally out of place today, when people are connected on real time basis.

To elaborate the above point further, the story I am currently reading has Aunt Agatha announcing expulsion of Bertie’s two cousins from college for their acts of omission and commission and that decision had been taken to onboard them on to the next ship to Johannesburg, South Africa, a British colony for them to start their life afresh there. For that the cousins would be coming a night before to London from their upcountry residence to be spending a night with Bertie so that they could catch the ship next enroute Johannesburg. How these young ruffians spent their last night in London, fell in love ( with the same girl) and deceive each other and Aunt Agatha by not having caught the ship, but staying back much to Bertie’s chagrin is another story and how Aunt Agatha would react to this act of disobedience and irresponsibility of Bertie in not facing ensured that his younger cousins were on their way to Johannesburg , I am sure, is going to make up for an interesting story as I read it further.

But in today’s milieu the above kind of humour or story is not possible. The two cousins needn’t have come a day in advance to fall for London’s charm but started early morning on the day of journey by a fast mode to board their ship. They couldn’t have ditched their ride as they would have been caught in no time based on their mobile and GPS. The humour is quaint as it’s based on telegrams, tram cars, ships and laid back life of British nobility and this can be savoured only by reading the likes of PGW. The humour is subtle, situational and classy and not loud or crass.

While surfing television channels, I bumped into live telecast of Australian Open second round match between World no 6 Alexander Zverev and unseeded Maxime Cressy, a French American player. The unseed was hard serving and backing up his express service ( often crossing 200 Km/ hour) with volley at the net. Of course, while Cressy was erratic, Zverev was steady and he won the match three sets to nil.

It reminded me of the days gone by when I was a sports aficionado and would cuddle up in bed to watch live telecast of Wimbledon semis and finals. With players like Borg and Lendl playing from baseline and McEnroe and Connors playing serve and volley game, the event was a feast for the eyes. I would remember names of up to 16 male seeds and at least top 10 female seeds and would keenly follow their progress.

Also, while Wimbledon was played on fast grassy courts, French open was played on clay courts that were slower and encouraged long baseline rallies.

Like other games, Tennis has also changed. The delectable game of Borg and McEnroe has given way to power show by likes of Cressy. Serve and volley is also becoming rarer. Above all, I am not really sure how closely is today’s generation following with all its nuances and icons?

Connors, McEnroe, Borg, Lendl, Navratilova, Evert, Graf and our very own Amritraj brothers and Ramesh Krishnan are firmly entrenched in my memory. Hopefully, I will create more awareness in myself for the new generation of players playing new brand of tennis .

Kapoor family is commonly known as the first of Bollywood. The family patriarch Prithviraj Kapoor led a group of artists that gave performances going from place to place and that became the cornerstone of the family’s foray into Bollywood and then its unbroken reign for more than last 7 decades after the eldest son of Prithviraj, Raj Kapoor set up his production house R K Studio. He produced and acted in some of the great movies, a few of which like Aawara and Sangam acquired almost cult status. His younger brothers, other 2 sons of Prithviraj, Shammi and Shashi also established themselves as highly popular and successful actors.

The next generation of the clan comprised three sons of Raj Kapoor – Randhir, Rishi and Rajiv and two sons of Shashi Kapoor – Kunal and Karan and also his daughter Sanjana. Of the above lot, barring Rishi Kapoor, who carried forward his illustrious father’s legacy by acquiring superstar status, others met with limited success. Shashi’s children busied themselves in managing the affairs of Prithvi theatre. Randhir after initial flashes of brilliance, settled for a reclusive life. The youngest son Rajeev had one super hit under his belt, Ram Teri Ganga Maili, directed by the showman Raj Kapoor himself. Thereafter , Rajiv or Chimpu as he was fondly addressed, couldn’t really climb the success ladder of Bollywood.

Unlike his elder brothers, Randhir and Rishi, who married popular Bollywood actresses Babita and Neetu and whose next generation comprising Randhir’s daughters Karishma and Kareena and Rishi’s son Ranbir are the flag bearers of the family tradition, little is known about Rajiv’s personal life. As it now transpired, he was married for a short period of time to one Aarti Sabharwal before getting separated and had no issue.

It’s so ironical that this first family of Bollywood that has been endowed by God with an overdose of beauty and talent has being seeing number of tragedies in the recent past. While Rishi’s death last year after his battle with cancer was a well covered event, the fact is that the family also lost Raj’s daughter Ritu Nanda and Matriarch of the family Krishna Kapoor, Raj’s wife, and with Rajiv’s death now, the life seems to have gone harsh on the family.

Hope the family now sees some pleasant and happy events, which it deserves after a spate of tragedies at close intervals.

We sometimes associate modernity with how we speak, what we wear and what’s our social status, to be read as our wealth and assets. But these are all outwardly things – real modernity is one that’s reflected in one’s attitude and action.

Widowed at a young age, lost her only young son to uncertainty and not death, with that uncertainty reigning over the rest of her life, supporting her daughter in an unhappy marriage to get divorce and walk out of her husband along with an infant daughter, encouraging her separated daughter to acquire professional skills to become financially independent, while she looked after her infant granddaughter and remained independent till her last breath thanks to her late husband’s pension.

To my mind, many of us educated folks with high social status and top notch jobs wear a facade of modernity though from inside we remain enmeshed in our deep rooted beliefs, superstitions and old school of thoughts. The above quoted instance of a difficult life full of challenging circumstances and yet lived with utmost pride and forward looking attitude is a true example of modernity or advancement as we think of, especially in the context of women liberation and empowerment.

Mother of my colleague and dear friend Swagata Bhaumik, Aruna Roychowdhury breathed her last a few days back at the ripe old age of 94 after a life full of struggle but extremely well lived!

Rest in peace ! My pronam to you!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference

Mahatria’s thoughts continue to enamour me for these comprise deep philosophy expressed in simple words. As I have explained in my earlier blogs, my old friend Nachiappan, who is on a life transformation journey under Mahatria’s influence, continues to enrich my life by sharing Mahatria’s thoughts daily. Today’s thought reads:

“When I resist, what is happening continues to happen, creating misery in me.

When I accept, what is happening continues to happen, leaving me blissful.”

And the above is indeed my experience as it has helped me soothe my frayed nerves so often. Not going too far back, Covid pandemic really caused panic and worry and it agitated me, creating misery in me. Then I thought that neither was I the cause of this pandemic nor could I do much about except for observing the normal precautions. Yet I suffered Covid and recovered out of it too! Once I accepted this worldwide phenomenon, I became at peace with me.

The current political situation in the country, be it ongoing farmers’ agitation or ensuing Bengal elections, caused restlessness and worry ! The very thought of election related violence in West Bengal or Khalistani proponents behind farmers agitation made me miserable. Then I thought, who wants Khalistan and whether a fistful of misguided protagonists can even touch the communal fabric of the country that is woven around the principles of brotherhood and freedom ! Muslims understand, Sikhs understand and Hindus understand – India is their motherland and their fate and well being is connected to the destiny of this country! Who are these handful of misdirected people to cause any anxiety ?

I am at peace now. It doesn’t mean inaction. I will continue to contribute to the oneness of India in my own humble way; but by accepting the happenings around me, I am blissful rather than miserable!

Pranam Mahatria for the path shown by you is helping millions like me to lead a better life!

In 2001, we shifted to Mumbai and fixed up accommodation in a residential complex in four Bungalows, Andheri. Just behind the complex wall was a temple dedicated to Lord Shiva. While the temple was relatively non descript by the usual standards of temples in our country, it had an almost iconic status as this was the place where in 1997 Music baron, owner of T series, Gulshan Kumar was gunned down by some contact killers. Gulshan Kumar ran for his life and his driver also tried to save his life, but Gulshan Kumar succumbed to his injury at young age of 41 years leaving behind his shocked family and a vast musical empire.

The reason for the above tragic incident suddenly coming to my mind is the last episode of Indian Idol telecasted last Saturday and Sunday in which participants sang songs originally rendered by Kumar Saanu, Udit Narayan and Alka Yagnik. These were the songs of 90s and the first decade of this century. And while there were songs composed by music directors popular during that period namely Jatin-Lalit, Anand-Milind, Anu Malik etc, more than 75% songs that were sung in these two episodes were composed by Nadeem Shravan, the music duo that ruled the roost post LP, RD, KA and Bappi era! The duo’s flourishing career came to an abrupt end when Nadeem Saifi of Nadeem Shravan duo fled the country to England to escape being charged with murder conspiracy of Gulshan Kumar.

The aforesaid tragic incident led to breaking up of Nadeem Shravan duo and this ended a musical journey of more than a decade that brought us soulful music of such blockbusters as Deewana , Aashiqui, Dil Hai Ke Manta Nahin, Raja Hindustani, Saajan, Sadak, Phool Aur Kaante – actually the list is quite long and formidable. The duo won 4 Filmfare best music directors awards, with three in a row in the years 1991, 1992 and 1993.

The duo can be credited for having brought the melody back into the Bollywood music that suffered badly in 80s and early 90s with maestros like RDB, LP and Bappi Lahiri going into oblivion. And they didn’t have a Kishore, Rafi or Mukesh at their disposal, with Lata and Asha also becoming more selective and less prolific. But the ditties they created mainly with Udit, Saanu and Alka in 90s and early part of this century were brought back to us along with old memories and unbridled joy thanks to the last episodes of Indian Idol.

I wish that artists could only focus on their activity instead of indulging in non artistic themes! This is the lesson as in spite of their glorious work, no body remembers or at least wishes to remember or mention the name of the duo.