Uncompilable list

Came across this beautiful piece, reproduced below in Hindi on as is basis ,on what we earlier used to call a “housewife” but like everything we now address with a slightly more respectable name – “homemaker”.

In the current Covid times, social media is replete with the new trend of working from home and how this new normal is dragging menfolk into daily household chores – cleaning, doing dishes, cooking and managing children. Needless to say most of these are in lighter vein and homemaker, if anything, has only become harder pressed with the office goer making his home his office and expecting all the office comforts at his home office.

I don’t believe in gender bias and in fact, so many women are also working from home and in fact balancing their professional and personal responsibilities far better. However, the fact remains that we have all grown up in society that’s predominantly patriarchal and though all of us would have come across strong characters in our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, wives, daughters etc, admittedly such cases are fewer and the scenario is largely that of lady as the homemaker and man as the bread winner. Many working women of super talent are also expected to sacrifice full time job to shoulder familial responsibilities.

Times have changed and several of the younger couples have based their relationships on the underlying principle of equality and are sharing all domestic responsibilities including raising children by being equal partners. However, the reality for larger percentage of families is still a lady being the homemaker. While I personally respect the role of a homemaker as I find it tough full time and exhausting, we can definitely make it more beautiful by acknowledging the effort and underlying sacrifice. I came across this prosaic cum poetic piece in social media and it touched the strings of my heart immediately forcing me to ponder over the sacrifice and selfless efforts by my mother, grandmother and wife, which we all tend to take for granted. The piece reads-

कभी बनाना लिस्ट…क्या क्या बनाया है बीवी ने…

वो कहती है बनाने में घण्टों लगते है…
और खाने में पल भर …

कभी कुछ बड़े जतन से बनाती है…
सुबह से तैयारी करके…
कभी कुछ धुप में सुखा के…
तो कभी कुछ पानी में भिगो के…
कभी मसालेदार..
तो कभी गुड़ सी मीठी…
सारे स्वाद समेट लेती हैं …
आलू के पराठों में, या गाजर के हलवे में, ऊपर बारीक कटे धनिये के पत्तो में, या पीस कर डाले गए इलाइची के दानों में…
सारे स्वाद समेट देती हैं एक छोटी सी थाली में…
न जाने कहाँ कहाँ से लाती है…
ना जाने कितना कुछ तो होता है …
कभी लिस्ट बनाना …
बीवी ने जो कुछ भी.. कभी भी बनाया है…
तुम बना नही पाओगे…

हमें भी बस खाना ही दिखता है…
पर नही दिखती…
किचन की गर्मी,

उसका पसीना,

हाथ में गरम तेल के छींटे,

कटने के निशान,

कमर का दर्द,

पैरो में सूजन,

सफ़ेद होते बाल..

कभी नहीं दिखते…,,

कभी तो ध्यान से देखो ना,,उस की छोटी से रसोई में… कोई दिखेगा तुम्हे ,,

जो बदल गया है इतने सालो में… दांत हिले होंगे कुछ….
बाल झड़ गए होंगे कुछ…
झुर्रियां आयी होंगी कुछ तुम्हारे मकान को घर बनाने में,,,,,
चश्मा लगाए, हाथ में अपनी करछी, बेलन लिए जुटी होगी…
आज भी वही कर रही है.. जो कर रही है वो पिछले पच्चीस तीस सालों से, और तुम्हे देखते ही पूछेगी
“क्या चाहिए?”…

कभी देखना उसके मन के कुछ अनकहे ज़ज़्बात, दबी हुई इच्छाएं,,
जो दिखती नही..

क्योंकि जो दिखती नही, उन्हें देखना और भी ज़्यादा ज़रूरी होता है…

जब रसोई से दो बिस्किट या रस हाथ में लेकर निकलता हूँ,, कभी उसकी गैर मौजूदगी में…

तब उसकी बात सोचने पे मज़बूर कर देती है… क्योंकि उसने सिर्फ खाना ही नहीं बनाया है इतने सालो में…
तुम्हें भी बनाया है…
खुद को मिटा के…
और याद है न…
बनाने में घण्टों लगते है..ख़तम एक बार में हो जाता है …पूरा घर बनाया है…
दिन रात मेहनत करके…
कभी बनाना लिस्ट और क्या क्या बनाया है बीवी ने…

लिस्ट बन नहीं पाएगी
कोशिश करना ..
कभी बन नहीं पाएगी🙏

I agree that all the work by homemaker is unlisted, unacknowledged, unpaid and thankless. Let’s all take a moment out of our busy schedules to pay our heartfelt gratitude to these daily warriors.

12 thoughts on “Uncompilable list

  1. My mother was a homemaker as is my wife. They also work, by choice, and keep everything working in the house. We share household duties now that we are both home. My wife prefers to do the cleaning. (I think I don’t do a good enough job) Thank you.

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    1. Thanks for reacting to my thoughts! It’s more about pragmatism and empathy rather than actual work! My wife and mother never expect me to share household chores – but when I do so voluntarily they feel happy ! And we get more quality time together.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Fabulous poetry 👌 ✨ we bow and respect to women (mother sister daughter and wife) and this is reinforced when I read composition of thoughts which are narrated here. New way of work definitely give learning to men that women made them not kitchen. Sir we liked this message conveyed to menfolks.

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